Saying "yes" to the right things.

December 11, 2017

 

I recently moved to a new city, a city where I know nobody. I've done this several times, so the shock of letting my community, church, friends, and job go is nothing new to me.

 

This time, I've committed to accepting that this stripping of "things" will ultimately bring me closer to my God. I've learned this the HARD way many times before. This might be why I adore being a life coach for women who are in transition & need accountability in making real change in their lives.

 

My priorities were clearly mis-aligned and my heart was deeply set in a place of striving - of not feeling good enough, but trying so desperately to be loved, known, and seen.

 

I knew that shifting priorities couldn't be tackled on my own. I have lived this way for far too long.

 

As Author Shauna Niequist so perfectly puts it, "What you need along the way: a sense of God's deep, unconditional love, and a strong sense of your own purpose. Without those two, you'll need from people what is only God's to give, and you'll give up on your larger purpose in order to fulfill smaller purposes or other people's purposes."

 

Pretty powerful stuff, right!?

 

To be honest, my priority list looked a lot like this one:

 

1. Work

2. Social

3. Family

 

Reversing this was not going to be easy but I knew that it had to be done.

 

So I've been praying, I've invited other women in to pray with me, and I've taken small actions every single day to shift my perspective and to release the chains of my striving heart.

 

A big question that comes up for me and I think for us all, is what are you saying "yes" to?

 

In her newest book, Present Over Perfect, Shauna Niequist lays this out perfectly.

 

She says,
"Picture your relationships like concentric circles: the inner circle is your spouse, your children, your very best friends. Then the next circle out is your extended family and good friends. Then people you know, but not well, colleagues, and so on, to the outer edge. Aim to disappoint the people at the center as rarely as possible. And then be more and more comfortable with disappointing the pole who lie at the edges of the circle--people you're not as close to, people who do not and should not require your unflagging dedication . . . We disappoint people because we're limited. We have to accept the idea of our own limitations in order to accept the idea that we'll disappoint people."

 

Saying yes means learning to say no, too.

 

In the past, I would have dreaded this change. I would have had a death grip on who I was, not wanting to let go. But I see freedom in my future and I trust God to be good. He has done it before and I KNOW that He will do it again.

 

If you're struggling with how to use your time well, with purpose, with setting boundaries, or with loving yourself -- let me tell you, you are not alone. 

 

I work with many women who feel just like I do, and together, through prayer, I believe we can change the world. 

 

As one heart changes, many hearts will be changed.

 

As my heart is molded and shaped by my Creator, I am choosing to say yes to things like puppy snuggles, listening closely to my husband, calling a friend just to talk, and sleeping in without feeling guilty.

 

What will you say yes to?

If setting boundaries, saying no, and living on purpose is hard for you - let's chat!

Shoot me an email at marissa@thevinewomen.com.

 

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